Knocked Out
by MsMorg
Summary: AU starting at the end of 3x24, Knockout. Rick and Kate find themselves both recovering from a shooting meant to end her life... We'll see how far down the road this story goes... Caskett coupling to ensue, but not quite at the beginning. I bumped it down to T for now, I don't know when or IF it will ever get to M... There is some mature content though... reader be cautious.
1. Lights Out

**Hey guys, this is my first CASTLE fic… I don't even know why I am writing it… especially for this episode… but, I just had to… Don't hate me. (The beginning is basically exactly the same as it happens in the episode Knockout, but with my own spin…)**

The day was sunny, though it didn't feel right that it should be so. They had just lost their captain, and in their minds, the day was shrouded in clouds of misery. Nevertheless, the sun shone brightly upon the gathered men and women, warming them in their dress blues and blacks. The gathered watched solemnly as the procession made its way up to the podium, depositing the casket draped in an American flag onto the lowering rig. Everyone watched as the flag was removed and folded expertly into a neat triangle and passed to Captain Montgomery's widow. She wept as she clung to the flag, wishing that none of it had ever happened.

The speeches began, first a short prayer from the minister, then a few words from each of his children, and finally Detective Katherine Beckett, his favorite disciple. Having worked with Roy for a long time, and having become something akin to family, she was reserved the final words before he was to be buried.

Detective Beckett began her solemn speech, "Roy Montgomery taught me what it meant to be a cop. He taught me that we are bound by our choices, but we are more than our mistakes. Captain Montgomery once said to me that there is no victory, there are only battles, and in the end the best you can hope for is to find a place to make your stand. And if you are very lucky, you find someone willing to stand with you." At this point, she made brief eye contact with Castle, the meaning of her words evident in her eyes.

When she looked back to her speech, he saw a glint in the distance, for a moment he couldn't place it, but dawning came a millisecond later. That was the glint of a scope. There wouldn't be any snipers protecting the funeral, as most, if not all of them were wearing the dress blues, lined up along the path for their fallen captain.

She continued while he made his assessment, "Our captain would want us to carry on the fight. And even if there is one…" He saw the glint again, and without hesitation, he jumped. Her words cut off as he hit her yelling "Kate!" as his only warning. The yell had concealed a more sinister sound, the sound of a rifle being fired. They hit the ground hard, the breath leaving them both. She looked up into his eyes, trying to take a new breath, but she couldn't.

"Rick." She wheezed with the last bit of breath she had.

He pushed himself up, attempting a breath himself. His breath caught with a gurgle. He looked down at her, there was blood soaking the front of her uniform, and more on her once stark white gloves. "Kate." He rasped, tears in his eyes. He reached down to the hole in her uniform, trying to prevent the blood loss. He held his hand firmly in place as she struggled for breath. "Don't leave me, please." He choked out. "Stay with me, okay?" She reached up a gloved hand to his face to wipe away a tear from his cheek, even as they flowed down from her own eyes. "Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate." He whispered.

He didn't notice the blood dripping onto his hand on her chest, there was so much blood there already. He just watched as an almost smile graced her lips before her eyes slid closed and her head fell back into the grass.

There was commotion all around him, but he couldn't think, wouldn't waste the brainpower it took to decipher it all. The woman of his dreams, the woman he loved, had just died in his arms. His eyes slid closed and he slumped forward in a heap on top of her, protecting her body with his own, even as he lost consciousness.

"Lanie, stay down!" Esposito cautioned. She ignored him, that was her best friend laying on the ground, and if she didn't get over there, she could die!

"Javi let me go!" She yelled, pushing him back and running over to her friend. He shadowed her, looking in every direction so he could jump in front of her, if need be. He loved her more than anything in the world, and if it were anyone but Kate that she were trying to rescue, he would have just held her down to the ground until the coast was clear, much like all of the civilians were doing.

As they reached the couple behind the podium, she was at a loss for words. She had assumed that Rick had been too late, that he was just pinning her to the ground to protect her and keep her alive, but he hadn't been. Lanie crumpled when she saw the perfectly round hole blown in the back of the writer's suit jacket. Detective Esposito saw it just a moment later, coming to a halt and falling to his knees next to her. Both of them knew that they needed to regain their composure if they were going to save their friend.

"Castle!" Lanie yelled, trying to move him, "you're crushing Kate you idiot!" She cried. Esposito finally pried him up by the shoulders as she heaved his legs over. They laid him on his back next to Kate, both of them now laying there, bleeding out, but that went almost unnoticed. Esposito reached down to check to see if he was breathing, which he wasn't. He immediately began chest compressions on his friend, not even flinching when he began mouth to mouth, unwilling to lose another partner.

"Kate, come on! He's off of you, open your eyes!" Lanie yelled at her, but she didn't respond. Lanie went to shake her, thinking maybe she had gone into shock, only then noticing the matching hole in the front of her uniform. "Oh God!" Lanie exclaimed, unable to breathe herself for a moment. Esposito paused for a moment, looking for a cause for Lanie's distress. His eyes followed the path of her hands down to Kate's chest where there was a hole matching the one in the front of Castle's suit.

"Lanie, you save her, you hear me?!" He yelled at her to break her out of her shocked trance. "You save her, and I'll save him! We can't lose any more family today!" He yelled, tears burning in his eyes as he saw her finally check Kate for vital signs.

Detective Ryan finally made it to them, he had been trying to keep Martha and Alexis safe, as well as Jenny, whom were all now being guarded by several dozen officers, with all of the other civilians. "I called in an officer down, ambulance in route, ETA 2 minutes." He yelled, making his way around the podium to see the two of them, working over separate bodies. "What the Hell?!" He exclaimed.

"Make that two bro, two officers down." Esposito yelled, knowing that if Castle had been awake he would have been grinning ear to ear for the slip up of Espo calling him a cop. Ryan nodded, grabbing for his radio again, making the call in for a second ambulance.

"ETA on the second ambulance is 7 minutes, do we even have that long?" He said, kneeling down between the two, trying to see what he could do to help. He resumed the compressions on Castle for Esposito, so he could help Lanie with Kate.

Castle's eyes fluttered open for a moment, he thought he was dreaming, there was a pounding on his chest, then lips against his, more pounding, lips again, the lips didn't feel right, too masculine. He tried to take a breath, but it was too hard, his lungs burned for air, finding it when the lips returned to his. He understood now, he was receiving CPR. He opened his eyes more forcefully this time, the sun being blotted out by whoever was kneeling over him.

"Castle!" Kevin yelled, noticing the open eyes. "Stay with me buddy, come on!" He said, stopping his compressions for a moment, then realizing when his eyes started to slip closed again that they were necessary, he began them again. He heard Castle struggle for a breath, but it didn't sound hopeful, so he bent down and gave him more oxygen.

"Saaaave K-k-k-" Castle gurgled when Detective Ryan pulled away. Ryan nodded, he knew Castle would give up his life for her, he knew he would want her to have the first ambulance. Upon seeing Ryan nod, Castle's eyes slipped closed once again, shrouding him in darkness.

The trio worked over their friends until the first ambulance arrived. The EMS crew immediately being directed to Detective Beckett.

"What about that guy?" One of them asked, looking at them speculatively.

"I've got him!" Dr. Parish yelled, jumping up and helping to attend to her other friend. She hadn't really thought about that before, she supposed that they were work-friends, he was kind to her, she was flirty back, but not overly so, just enough to keep Kate on her toes. She thought about all of this while keeping up the pressure on the wound in his chest. He was still losing a lot of blood, she just hoped the other ambulance got there in time.

The first set of paramedics had Kate on a body board by now and were rushing her to the back of the ambulance. Lanie heard the doors slam and looked around, Javi was nowhere to be seen, he must have gone with her. She listened as the sirens faded and then seemed to mix and get closer again. The other ambulance was approaching, _thank God!_ She thought.

The other EMS team rushed onto the scene. "Where's the officer down?" They asked hurriedly.

"This man is as much an officer as I am, or any of those cops over there!" Detective Ryan yelled, jabbing a finger toward the crowd of officers and civilians. "You save him, or I swear to God, you won't make it to your next shift!" He said coolly, his Irish vigor coming out in his eyes. He used to be undercover with the Irish mob, he could call in a hit, if he didn't do it himself.

"Alright, okay," Lanie said, pulling Kevin away from the paramedics, "let them do their jobs Kevin." She said in a soft tone, but she stared them down, daring them not to. "They should know better than to not work on a man who jumped in front of a bullet for a cop." She said, sending the one that was still looking at her and icy glare.

"Okay, let's get him into the ambulance!" The other one exclaimed, as they hauled him up on the body board they had slid under him and secured.

"Lanie, go with him, make sure he's safe, I have to go get Martha and Alexis! They don't even know!" He said, shaking slightly. "I'll bring them in the cruiser. Go, don't worry, keep him safe!" Lanie chased after the paramedics, climbing in the back just before the doors shut. The ambulance took off, lights on, sirens blaring.

Detective Ryan turned around, walking pointedly into the crowd of shocked funeral attendees, searching out Martha and Alexis. He found them huddled together, bawling into each other's shoulders. They hadn't seen Richard being carried away into the ambulance, Hell, they hadn't even seen Kate carried away. They had assumed just as Lanie had originally, that Rick had been too late, and that he was in the back of the ambulance with her, holding her hand. They were too caught up in their crying to notice that there had been two separate ambulances, not just one.

"Martha, Alexis, please come with me." Detective Ryan said calmly, motioning for them to follow him through the throng of people towards his cruiser.

"Thank you dear, but shouldn't you be getting Jim to the hospital? It is his daughter after all, I mean, we love her like family, but he actually _is _ her family." Martha said, blotting her eyes on a handkerchief as they made their way to the cruiser.

"Yes, and I would, but he was out of here faster than I could spot, following that ambulance as if his life depended on it." Detective Ryan said in response, they both nodded. He didn't want to tell them yet.

When they reached the car, he opened the door for them and they both slid in the back, buckling in. He closed the door softly and ran around the front, buckling in and starting the car in seconds. He flipped on his lights and sirens, intent on making it to the hospital as fast as possible. He pulled out his radio, requesting information on which hospital the ambulances had headed for, "I need a location on the officer down call, which hospital were they sent to?" He said quickly, listening intently. "Okay, dispatch, do what you can to block traffic on the way from the cemetery, they don't have much time!" He threw his radio onto the passenger seat, maneuvering his way through traffic faster than ever before.

**I've got more where that came from, just a little cliffhanger to get this thing going, eh?**

**~Morgen**


	2. Still Out

**I couldn't leave you guys hanging for more than a couple hours… (Or myself!) The perspective is thrown off here, but you should be able to make sense of it!**

_"Kate!" I yell, waking up instantly. "Kate, where are you?" Nervously looking around, I realize how bright it is here._

_"I'm over here Castle, what do you want?" I whip my head towards the sound of her voice._

_There she is, standing there in her dress blues with her eyebrow quirked up at me. "I thought I had lost you." I say, making my way over to her and giving her a hug._

_"Really Castle, that's the best you can come up with?" She retorts, pushing me back. The jolt it gives me hurting far more than it should. All of a sudden I can't breathe, I look into her eyes with panic in my own. She just smiles at me, poking me in the chest, right between two of my ribs. I try again to take a breath, and this time I make some headway. I can breathe again. _

_"Where are we?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper._

_"Where do you think?" She responds, smirking as always._

_"Are we… Did we… Die?" I ask, not sure if she even knew._

_"I don't know, did we? I thought you went all 'Macho-Man' and saved me?"_

_"I had hoped to… but Kate, I… I think I watched you die." I say, tears running down my face._

_"Well, that sucks." She quips at me._

_"But… if you're dead, that must mean I am too… so where are we? Purgatory?" _

_"I don't know Castle." She said, gasping in pain and crumpling all of a sudden. I catch her just before the hits the ground, but just barely. _

_I feel a warm wet substance on my fingers that are resting on her chest. "Kate?" I ask, knowing, but unable to look._

_"Kate?! Kate, look at me! I'm not amused, Kate! You're scaring me! Come on! Get up!" I try pulling her up with me, but she won't budge. "Kate…" I cry as cradle her in my arms. "Please, you can't leave me."_

_"Umpf." All of the wind being knocked out of me. "What the Hell Castle? Why did you tackle me?" _

_"To save you." He whispers in my ear._

_"From what? Giving a speech? I think I was doing just fine."_

_" Maybe so, but I still saved you." He says, smiling down at me._

_"What are you…?" I begin before realizing there is a warm, wet substance coating my gloved hands that are at his chest, pushing. "Rick?" I ask, afraid to look._

_"Don't worry about me, just be happy. I love you Kate, be happy for me." He said, tears in his eyes before slumping forward on top of me._

_"Rick?! Rick, get up! This isn't funny, Rick! You're crushing me! Come on! Get up!" I try pushing on him, but he won't budge. "Rick…" I sob into his chest. "Please, you can't leave me."_

There is a flurry of activity, Kate is removed from the ambulance, a breathing tube now in place, a bag supplying her oxygen, an EMT giving her CPR. Esposito follows after the team with the stretcher, they are running, there's no telling how much time is left, how much blood she has lost.

"You're going to have to wait here, officer." One of the doctors says before pushing through the door to the ER with the rest of the team. Esposito nodded, putting his head in his hands- only to realize that they are coated in blood. Her blood, Kate's blood. And Castle's. Oh God. Did he even make it to the ambulance? It was so much further behind. He couldn't lose another partner, not Kate or Castle. Castle was his partner, a part of his team, his work family. He'd lost too many people as it was.

The crashing of doors against the wall at the other end of the hall alerted him to a new arrival. It was Castle. Lanie was chasing the stretcher, just as he had with Kate. Castle had been intubated as well, obviously incapable of breathing on his own. Esposito wondered how long he had been without his own breath. He checked his watch, but it was smeared with blood. He shook his head, waiting until the team with Castle's stretcher ran by, and Lanie stopped by him, immediately throwing herself into his side.

"How was Kate?" She asked, bawling her eyes out.

"Not much better than that." He said, knowing he couldn't sugarcoat anything right now, even if he wanted to protect her from the truth. He just hugged her close as they cried into each other's embrace.

Detective Ryan should have won an award for how well he drove in the tense minutes on the way to the hospital, but he wouldn't be worrying about that, he was too concerned with the task at hand, getting there safely. As he pulled into the parking structure of the hospital, he flashed his badge at the attendant, his lights still flashing, though he had turned off the siren. The attendant lifted the gate, and Ryan blew into the garage, grabbing the closest parking spot to the ER entrance as possible. With the car in park, he had one job left to do. After he turned off the lights, threw the NYPD parking pass in the dash and removed the key from the ignition, he turned around as far as he could in his seat, effectively facing the two scared women in the back.

"I need to tell you two something, and you can't freak out, okay?" He said calmly, tears forming in his eyes again. He bit them back as the two nodded. " Castle- Uh- Rick… got hurt too." He couldn't bring himself to say more than that, he just looked them both in the eye briefly and got out of the car, opening the rear door for them to do the same. They sat there in shock for a moment before getting out of the car. "I'm sorry. I just… I didn't know what to say before."

The two women were crying again, holding onto each other for dear life, but Martha nodded, understanding the stress of improvisation. He opened the door to the ER for them, not knowing what exactly lay beyond, but knowing that they should get in there.

They found Detective Esposito and Doctor Parish sitting in a couple of the waiting room chairs, what used to be white towels in their hands, as they attempted to rid themselves of the blood. As he approached them, one of the desk workers whistled and threw a white towel his way as well. He hadn't even thought about the blood on his own clothes and hands. After making sure that Martha and Alexis were situated on a set of chairs against the wall, he excused himself to try and wash some of the blood off in the bathroom. He got his hands mostly clean, drying them off on the towel, and dabbed at his uniform, trying to at least dry it. He walked back out into the waiting area, noticing Jim Beckett had arrived and firmly planted himself in one of the chairs near Martha and Alexis.

Ryan walked up behind Espo and Lanie, "Any news?" he whispered, knowing that if there was any, it probably wasn't good. They both shook their heads. He took the towels from them and walked over to the desk. "You have a bio-bag for these?" he asked, hefting the towels with one hand. It was a ruse, he wanted information, and he hoped the woman at the desk had some. She nodded, letting him through a door so he could deposit the towels in the lidded red biohazard receptacle used by the ER staff. "Any info on the two GSWs? They're our friends." He whispered, motioning back towards the lobby with his thumb.

"All I know is that they both made it into surgery. Doctor Davidson and Doctor Kovatch are operating them individually. Our OR teams are scrambling, they don't usually need two cardiac surgery teams at once, so…" She made an apologetic face. "I wish I knew more, sorry."

He nodded, then realized the names of the doctors. "Doctor Davidson, do you know which patient he's operating on?" He asked, worriedly. "I think he's operating on the female." He breathed a sigh of relief. He knew it was wrong, that the doctor should have recused himself, or taken the other surgery, but Kevin was afraid that if he had, he would have just let Rick die without even trying, just so he wouldn't have to compete. "Good," he said, nodding and walking back towards the waiting room.

Before he got there, he pulled out his phone, sending a quick text to Jenny, **"Sorry I didn't catch you before I left. Kate and Rick are in surgery. Hope you made it home okay, Love You."** He sighed after he sent it. At least she wouldn't worry as much now.

He walked back into the waiting room, heading towards the chair nearest to Alexis. He knew that Martha was bent out of shape too, but Kevin could see the teen starting to fall apart. He took off the jacket to his uniform, tossing it onto one of the chair Esposito had tossed his on. He sat down, hoping he might be able to comfort the daughter of one of his closest friends. He patted her on the shoulder, and before he knew it, she had spun from Martha's embrace and began bawling her eyes out into his shoulder. He let his arm come around her, squeezing her shoulder tight, showing her some support. Martha looked relieved for a moment before she cast her eyes downwards and put her head in her hands.

They stayed like that for a while, Kevin trying to keep Alexis calm, Martha putting herself back together on her own, Jim sitting there stoically, and Lanie and Javier trying to comfort each other in silence, squeezing the other's hand when it appeared to be overwhelming them a little too much. Eventually though, Alexis seemed to cry herself out, and sat up, stretching a little, then looking apologetically towards the Detective she had been crying on.

"I'm so sorry Detective Ryan! I, I ruined your shirt! I'll pay for the dry cleaning!" She exclaimed, unable to think of anything else, she was nervous and afraid, but she wanted to talk to someone.

"It's okay, Lex, I think I'm going to get a new set of dress blues anyway… these ones aren't fitting the way they used to." He said, trying to make it seem like no big deal, when he really would need to be getting rid of them due to all of the blood that had soaked into every article of the uniform. "Hey," he said, trying to change the subject, "you want some hot chocolate or something?" He motioned around the corner, there was hot beverage vending machine near the desk, which they couldn't see from where they were sitting. She nodded, he got up, asking if anyone else did, and eyed Javier, jerking his head slightly. The detective understood, and stood up, patting Lanie's hand.

Together Detectives Ryan and Esposito made their way to the desk, quietly asking the desk worker for an update. "Any news?" They asked together.

"There was a cardiac arrest call, but that seems to have been rectified, and I don't know which patient it was, so I couldn't tell you who it was, but don't worry guys, they'll pull through! These surgeons deal with this type of thing almost every day! This is New York!" She said, trying to brighten the mood, it wasn't very effective.

"Thanks." They said together again, "Let us know if- - when one or both of them are out of surgery." Esposito said softly, she nodded with a sad smile on her face.

The pair made their way to the vending machines, picking up hot chocolate for everyone, just to give their hands something to do. They grabbed a couple bags of chips too, knowing it was getting to be quite a while since any one of them ate. They juggled all of their purchases, handing them out around the room, and making their way back to their respective seats. Alexis took a sip of her hot chocolate, before looking down at it and beginning to weep again. She used to drink hot chocolate with her dad whenever they were sad, extra chocolate, extra marshmallows. She swiped the tears away, wanting to be strong now, not wanting everyone to think she was just a kid and didn't know how to school her emotions.

They waited.

"Let's check those X-rays, I am concerned there might be some significant bone breakage exacerbating this injury." Doctor Kovatch said, taking the X-rays and placing them up on the light board. "Shit." He said, shaking his head. "Splintered the sixth rib on the way out. We need to get those chunks out of there before they do any more damage to his lung. It already collapsed once, we don't want that happening again." He turned around to begin the process of removing the bone shrapnel from Castle's already open chest cavity. "At least once we got his lung working again his heart leveled out to its own pace." He grabbed a piece of bone with the forceps, plopping it into a metal tray next to him. He repeated the process several more times until he was confident he had removed it all.

"Let's get him sewn back up, what do you say?" The doctor looked over at his partner, starting the process of resealing the wound on his right side where they had been working. They eventually had to turn him on his side to sew up the hole in his back as well. They were going to work on that first, but he started to fibrillate, so they skipped it and dove in on fixing the main issue, the hole in third lobe of his right lung, the reason his lung had collapsed and his heart rate had dropped.

Once he was all stitched up, they monitored his heart rate for a few more moments, making sure he was, indeed in the clear. He still wasn't breathing on his own, had a machine doing it for him, which was probably for the best at the moment. They moved him from the OR into the ICU, right up next to the one person he cared about the most.

"Come on, let's find the source of the extra bleeding here." Doctor Davidson said, unable to think of anything other than _'I've got to save Kate, and then kill Richard Castle.'_ "Got it. Pulmonary vein." He clamped it, then sewed up the tear, making sure there wasn't any other bleeding. She got off pretty easy as far as a bullet to the chest went. The slug had been traveling slow enough that when it entered her chest it tore her left lung and a pulmonary vein and settled in behind it. Doctor Davidson retrieved the bullet, dropping it into the metal pan next to him, then deciding she was good to go, he removed the tools and began to sew her back up.

"That's going to leave a pretty nasty scar, even with my best stitch job." He said, a nurse looked at him like he was an asshole, which he was. He was being vain about a scar when she had just been shot.

Once he was done, he made his way out to the waiting room of the ER, hoping to give _Richard Castle_ a piece of his mind, while the nurses transported Kate to the ICU, breathing machine and all.

**So... I had to stop it somewhere here... I'm still writing, and it is past 2am... so there's that...**

**Glad to see so many of you are liking it so far, sorry if this chapter got a little tedious!**

**~Morgen**


	3. One Comes Out

**Hey guys! Wow, so many people already following this story, and it has only been a bit over twelve hours since I posted the first chapter! I really appreciate all of the reviews, I'll start responding to them in just a bit! :) **

**Without further ado...**

"Where the HELL is Rick?" Doctor Davidson yelled, bursting through the doors into the waiting room, looking around, surprised not to find him there.

"Rick? RICK?! You mean my SON? The one that got shot protecting YOUR girlfriend? THAT RICK?!" Martha exclaimed, standing at her full height and throwing her full repertoire of acting behind this performance.

"Yes, THAT Rick. Wait, what? Shot?" He paused, taking in the faces of everyone else in the room. "Kate got shot, what are you talking about?"

"Yes, Kate did get shot, but not before the bullet ripped through Richard's chest!" Martha said, crossing her arms in a grand gesture.

"What…?" He was confused. He knew that there had been two GSW's so Doctor Kovatch couldn't take the surgery from him, but he didn't know who the second victim had been. It explained why the bullet hadn't done more damage than it did though, it had slowed down significantly due to prior impact. "Oh." Was all he could say before he turned around and made his way back through the doors to the ER.

"What about my son?!" Martha yelled after him.

"And my Daughter!" Jim called, standing next to her.

Doctor Davidson turned around, walked back to the door and spoke calmly, "Kate is in the ICU, I am going to go check on her, I don't know where Mr. Castle is." With that, he spun on his heel and walked back down the hall towards the elevator and on to the ICU.

The first thing he noticed when he walked in was that there was a second bed next to the one Kate had been assigned to. Looking at the face, he didn't recognize them, but when he picked up the chart, he nearly dropped it. It was Castle. He looked horrible. The breathing tube taped across his face, pale as a sheet from the noted blood loss on the chart, though he had a transfusion during surgery, not nearly enough, obviously. Despite his hate for the guy, he felt kind of bad, the guy did take a bullet for his girlfriend after all. Maybe he wouldn't kill him, just let him suffer with his injuries alone. He smirked, putting his chart back on the front of his bed. He walked over to Kate's bed, checking her vitals briefly before sitting down in the chair next to her bed and taking her hand. "How did you end up getting shot, Kate… at a funeral?!"

He sat there a few minutes before getting up and going back to work. He may have wanted to spend time with her, but he had a lot of patients to look after, and they were more important.

Jim and Martha made their way up to the ICU, escorted by Kevin and Javier, for protection, they didn't know who had done the shooting, but they were going to post cops at every entrance to the hospital, and two outside the private room that they were having arranged for the both of them. Alexis had agreed to stay with Lanie for the time being, though she really wanted to see her father, she knew that her Grams actually had a say in treatment options and the like.

Martha made her way to Richard's bedside, barely able to recognize him. His hair wasn't its usual 'perfection', but a matted down mess, and his skin was so pale. He always looked so tan, a bright spot in her day, but now he looked literally like a ghost of that person. "Oh, Richard." She said, taking his hand, squeezing it tightly in her own, hoping for a response she was sure she wouldn't get. He was still under the effects of the sedative they used in the surgery.

A similar reunion was being made at Kate's bedside. Jim pushed back the hair that clung to the side of her face. "Katie, I thought I had lost you too." He said, tears swimming in his eyes. "I'm glad they got you both fixed up. I know I wouldn't have gotten you back if he didn't make it out too." He spoke softly, a sad smile on his face. "I know you love that man more than coffee Katie, I hope you dump that asshole doctor, even if he did operate on you." This time his smile was a little more genuine. He kissed her forehead, grabbed her hand and sat down for the long haul, until she woke up.

Martha had been listening to the sentiments that Jim had been passing quietly to Kate, she couldn't help herself. She indulged briefly in thoughts of the two of them together recuperating on a beach somewhere. She could hope, right?

An hour or so later, Alexis and Lanie were allowed up as well. Lanie went straight to the end of Kate's bed, picking up the chart and flipping through it, satisfied with what she saw there, she put it back. She smiled at Kate's resting form, even if it was riddled with tubes. She quietly picked up Castle's chart, wanting to know the extent of the damage, and she nearly choked. The through and through had clipped his right lung and splintered a rib, but beyond that he had gone into cardiac arrest during the earliest stages of surgery, they had to restart his heart. She put the chart back, shaking her head when Alexis reached for it. "Honey, don't look at that, just be happy he's laying here, his heart is beating, and his color is coming back, little by little." She said softly, hoping the teen would listen. She retracted her hand, instead reaching for her father's unoccupied one, though it had plenty of tubes sticking out the back, it was still the most comforting thing she could imagine at the moment.

"I'm going to go check and see when the doctors think they are bound to wake up." Lanie said, making her way over to the nurse's station where an attending stood there, filling out charts. "Any idea when the anesthetic should start wearing off those two?" she said, motioning with her head at the couple.

He nodded, checking his watch. "I would guess that she should start coming around in the next hour or so, since she was under for a shorter period of time. We'll have to remove the breathing tube when she does wake up though, so… the family might want to wait outside for that part. As for him, could be an hour or two, maybe more. His surgery wasn't exceedingly long, but combined with the massive blood loss, I'm guessing he'd be lucky to wake up before I don't know," he looked at his watch again, "oh, maybe around eight or nine pm, which as you know is the end of visiting hours." He said, smiling as she scowled. He closed up his charts, and walked around the floor, checking various patients.

Lanie returned, giving everyone the news, good or bad she would let them decide.

As if on cue, Kate's eyes began to flutter an hour later, it was around dinner time at this point, a bit after five pm. Lanie hit the call button to get the attending over there to see about removing the breathing tube. "Hey guys," Lanie said, "why don't you all go grab some sandwiches or something from the cafeteria while we get this taken care of?" She asked, hoping they would understand that this was going to be a bad experience for anyone that stayed. They all nodded, leaving, though, especially in Alexis' case, they did not want to.

Kate's eyes were blinking slowly, still not fully awake, but Lanie wanted to warn her, so as not to alarm her. "Kate, can you hear me? Um… Blink twice if you can." She did. "Okay, well this nice doctor here is going to remove your breathing tube, he'll talk you through it, don't worry." She tried to use a soothing tone, but she knew it was going to be horrible for her friend.

The doctor talked her through it slowly, and he gently removed the tube without mishap, quickly depositing it in the bio-waste bin by the bed. "Don't forget to drink some water, that throat will probably be sore for a day or two at the least." He said before walking away to continue his check on the other patients.

Lanie handed Kate a glass of water before she could ask for it. "You drink that, and then tell me how it felt to be tackled by prince charming." Lanie said teasingly.

Kate smiled, still pretty out of it from the anesthesia and drank the cool water slowly. When she found her voice, albeit weak and raspy, she spoke, "Did he really tackle me and take a bullet for me?" She asked.

"Hell yes he tackled you! As for taking the bullet… I mean, it hit him, but it hit you too, so does it even count?" She joked. Kate rolled her eyes. There was a curtain drawn around her bed, so she wasn't sure where she was exactly. "I take it from the wandering gaze, you want to know where you are…?" Kate nodded her response. "Well, you are in the ICU, same as writer-boy over there," She said, sticking her thumb out to point behind her in his direction.

"Is he… is he okay?" She questioned worriedly.

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Lanie dodged.

"But is he now?" Kate pushed.

"He's not at 100%, if that's what you mean. He's still under from the anesthesia, just like you were." Lanie said, still not answering her fully.

"Can I see him?" Kate asked, her eyes glistening.

"Kate," Lanie began, "I- I really don't think that's a good idea. You only just woke up yourself, and he isn't looking like himself right now. You know how he is, pretty boy, he wouldn't want you to see him like this." She tried to reason.

"I don't care Lanie, I love him, I'll look at him until I'm blue in the face." Kate said defiantly.

"You… did you just admit that you love him?" Lanie was taken by surprise.

"Yes, I did. He told me he loved me right before I conked out. If he can tell me his feelings while he thinks I'm about to die, then I can tell him mine, bad timing or not." She resolved herself to be truthful, at least on this one issue, for once in her life.

"Fine, Kate, but you can't get out of bed, you can look at him from there." Lanie said, pulling back the curtain between the two beds.

Kate gasped softly. Lanie had been right, his hair was all wrong, his color, wrong, his face was covered by a bunch of tape and tubing, his hands covered likewise. All she wanted to do was get out of bed and hug him to her and never let go. She couldn't do that yet though. She had responsibilities to take care of. First, she had to break it off with Josh, then she had to make sure Martha and Alexis didn't hate her for life for getting Rick shot, then she had to take a shower or something, she could feel where the iodine had cleaned her skin, but it fell wrong, and she didn't smell right. When Lanie went to return the curtain back to its original spot, Kate shook her head. "I want to see him, please." Lanie relented, letting the curtain stay where it was for the moment.

"When he wakes up, we're moving the both of you to a private room with no outward facing windows and stationing to armed officers outside the door." Lanie said, smirking as Kate cringed, she hated making lower ranking officers to stand around all day. "And when you have that _private _room…" she continued suggestively, "you can talk about your feelings for each other, and maybe even… feel each other." She said with a wink.

"Lanie! We were both just shot! You expect us to what, get it on in one of our hospital beds?" She whispered harshly.

"Expect, no… hope and pray for… maybe." Lanie replied with a smile like none other.

"Do you _know_ how messed up that is? Especially coming from a doctor…" Kate said, shaking her head.

"I can't help but want that for you two! Especially after beating around the bush for three years and then you both wind up shot half to death!" Lanie just shook her head, grabbing Kate's hand and sitting in the chair by the bed. "I'm glad you're okay though." She said with a smile.

"Yeah me too… but I will be even more glad if you get me some Jell-O or pudding…" Kate smirked. Lanie rolled her eyes and got up to go get some from the nurse's station. While Lanie was away, Kate looked back over towards Rick. She wanted to cry. He had jumped in front of a bullet for her. It didn't stop her from getting hit, like she is sure was his plan, but the fact that he had done something so … _heroic_ amazed her. She knew that he was capable of small feats of heroism, but that was so much more, and such a huge risk! She wasn't sure what this would mean for them in the long run, if he would be able to come back and work with them on cases like before, because even with all of those papers he signed, the force could take a hit, getting bad press for nearly getting a famous author killed. Kate promised herself not to overthink it, and talk to him about it later. Who knew, maybe he would have a crazy idea that would fix everything.

After eating her fill of cherry flavored Jell-O, Kate decided it was probably best if she rested for a little while. She was feeling pretty groggy, despite having apparently having slept half the day away. She asked Lanie to let everyone know that she was fine, she just needed some rest. Lanie nodded her assent, and made her way to the cafeteria to get herself some food, knowing that at least one of her friends had pulled through. She had left the curtain between the two beds open, sure that Kate preferred it that way, even if she was supposed to be sleeping. She nodded to the officers stationed at the doors to the ICU on her way out.

Doctor Parish found the rest of the group sitting around some gathered tables, eating mostly in silence. She grabbed herself a sandwich, some chips, and a bottle of water from the deli counter, quickly paying and making her way over to the group.

"How's Katie?" Jim asked before she even sat down.

"She's good, she drank some water, ate some Jell-O, then she decided it was probably best to rest, and kicked me out." Doctor Parish smiled softly at her friend's antics.

"Did she remember everything?" Esposito asked, hoping that perhaps she had seen where the shot had come from, or more specifically, _who_.

"I didn't ask. She mentioned a thing or two, but nothing really pertaining to the shooting." She half-lied, knowing Kate wouldn't want the everyone to gossip about the pairs' love confessions. "She was really more concerned about Rick than anything," she continued, hoping that would appease them, and move the conversation in a different route.

"Oh, you didn't let her see him, did you?" Martha asked softly. "He would be so embarrassed about how he looks right now. The man goes through an hour-long ritual to get himself ready to see that woman, no matter the occasion." She divulged. The table chuckled lightly, knowing it was most-likely the truth.

"I did. She asked, and I couldn't deny her, she said she needed to be sure he was okay." She bent the truth a little, Kate had implied that, but not said it. "The look she gave me was worse than his puppy-dog eyes, I swear!" There was another round of chuckles, just what the group needed at a time like this, and they all knew it.

Kate had just drifted off, having been staring at Rick's prone form for a while, her breathing evening out as she rested, when Josh decided to make a reappearance. He walked up to her bedside, closing the curtain between the two, wondering why it was left open. He sat down, grabbing her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles, closing his eyes, he needed a rest. Her eyes flashed open, and upon realizing who it was holding her hand, she pulled on it sharply, trying to remove it from his grip.

"Kate?" He asked, looking up to her face, "What's wrong?"

"This." She rasped, swallowing once before continuing, "_Us_, it's wrong."

"What do you mean, 'us'? How is that wrong? I just pulled a bullet out of your chest, _that _is wrong, not _us." _He argued, shaking his head.

"The only thing wrong about it is that you performed the surgery, Josh. I could have taken a bullet any number of times." She said, her voice low.

"That doesn't make it right! And I _couldn't_ step down from that surgery, there was no one else around to do it! Doctor Kovatch was working on that piece of work," He indicated to the bed behind the next curtain, the one containing Castle.

"He saved my life Josh, he isn't a piece of work." She couldn't believe this guy. "He was there for me today."

"The Hell he was! _I_ was therefor you, _I _saved your life in the operating room." He fought back, getting angry.

"Josh, I appreciate it, but you shouldn't have, and you know it. Now please leave. We are done. I need to heal, and obviously I can't do that with you around." She said firmly. When he didn't budge, she pushed the call button. The attending from before came to check on her.

"Everything alright here? Oh, hey Doctor Davison." He said, wondering why the button had been pressed if there was a doctor already present.

"Yes, everything is fine." Josh attempted, but Kate was already shaking her head.

"No, it is not. Please have the officers outside escort this man away from here. I don't want him near either myself or Mr. Castle." The attending looked confused, but did as she asked, quickly walking over to the officers by the doors and explaining the situation.

"What the Hell, Kate! This isn't over! You can't just kick me out of the hospital, I work here!" He yelled at her.

"Well, I can make sure you aren't around here. I don't trust that you wouldn't do something you might regret, which would make me do something far worse." She leveled him with an icy glare as the officers approached.

"Doctor Davidson, we're going to have to ask you to leave the ward. We're here to protect these two, and you seem to be interfering with their recovery." One of the officers said. When Josh didn't budge, they each grabbed him underneath an arm and hauled him back out the doors into the hall. Kate could hear him yelling, but even better, she heard the other officer say "Don't make us call in backup to get you thrown all of the way out of the hospital."

Kate lay her head back down to rest, but she couldn't, not being able to see Rick, knowing that he was there and healing. She pressed the call button again, smiling apologetically as the doctor returned. "Hey, sorry about that…" She began, but he waved it off. "Do you think you could pull back the curtain there?" She asked, unwilling to give an explanation. The doctor just nodded, pulling it back.

"You get some rest. That was probably a bit more excitement than you should have had this soon after surgery." And with that he left, off to do more rounds.

Kate lay on her back, head turned towards Rick again, this time settling into an uninterrupted, much needed sleep.

**So...? I know, I know, Rick still isn't awake! The chapter was just starting to feel too long though! I got this one up over 3,300 words and I knew I had to cut it, but have no fear, the next chapter is near! I just have to write it... lol**

**Let me know what you thought, I am just writing this as a way to immerse myself back into writing... and I guess to make people love me again. heh. **

**(Oh, and sorry if there are any mistakes, I don't go back and proofread these before I post them... I will probably go back and fix mistakes later.)**

**~Morgen **


	4. Doc Out?

**Sorry for the delay, I got a bit distracted, and when I set down to finish the chapter off last night, I just fell asleep! Anyhoo... This next bit here was highly anticipated by some of you, so I won't waste any more of your time with this...**

"This is bullshit!" Doctor Davidson yelled, still being escorted by the arm by a uniformed officer. They were just passing the cafeteria, catching the notice of the group assembled there, eating in their relative silence.

"Excuse me," Detectives Ryan and Esposito said at the same time, placing their napkins on their trays, both having finished, and leaving the table simultaneously. They walked out into the hallway, quickly catching up to the officer and Doctor Davidson.

"Hey bro, we can take it from here." Esposito said, nodding at the officer who was escorting Josh out. The officer, recognizing the pair of detectives, relinquished his hold on Doctor Davidson, turning around to return to his post by the ICU doors.

"Thanks guys, that lunatic was going to throw me out of the hospital!" Josh exclaimed, waving his arms around.

"Well, let us help you out then." Detective Ryan said smoothly, grabbing Josh by the arm and tugging a little harder than necessary, pulling him to the nearest exit, then into the stairwell of the parking structure.

"What the Hell, Kevin?" Josh said, trying to push him away, but Ryan just tightened his grip.

"Don't 'What the Hell' him, bro. Yelling at Castle's mom?! Not cool, man." He said shaking his head. "What were you gonna do? Punch Castle if he had been in that waiting room?" Esposito asked, hoping to get some answers.

"Hell yes I was going to punch Castle! That asshole had it coming! He put Kate in danger! He got her back into looking at her mom's case!" Josh yelled, angry that the detectives didn't seem to be on his side.

"Wrong answer, chump." And with that, Detective Ryan shoved the doctor into the wall by the stairs. "What do you think that would have accomplished in the long-run? Beckett loves Castle, we all know that!"

Josh bounced off the wall, head smacking it with a thud. He reached up to rub his head, answering immediately, "He made her dig, he got Montgomery killed, Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he had staged half of the shit that happened between the two of them! How many cops go through that much peril? And for what? To make her fall for him?" He questioned, angering the detectives even more. "Kate doesn't love that dick, she loves me! She's just too stubborn to realize it!"

"That _dick_? I think you mean _Rick_. He's obviously a better man than you are, at least he knew when to back down!" Kevin was getting pretty angry at this point, the guy just kept saying stupid shit, and it was pissing him off. "Rick has saved her life more times than I can count, and you think you can, what? Knock him on his ass for trying to again? If you want to punch someone, how about you try one of us?" He said, motioning between himself and his partner as they rolled up their sleeves.

"You think I can't take you? Some short wise-ass cop, and his thick-headed counterpart?" That got them going, this guy was going to get his clock cleaned.

"Try me, bro, we'll see how thick-headed I am when I whoop your ass!" Espo warned.

"Well, you asked for it!" Josh ran headlong at Esposito, trying to tackle him, but Espo sidestepped, shoving him with a foot to his ass, the momentum making him stumble and hit the ground. "Cheap-shot." Josh said, getting back to his feet, this time running towards Ryan. He stopped short, pulling his arms up and trying to punch him in the face. Ryan had practiced plenty of boxing though, so he brought his hands up, blocking, ducking and weaving as Josh threw punch after punch, missing his target every time. Finally, bored with the game, Kevin ducked, settling two successive punches to the doctor's gut. He gasped, surprised by the hits. "So you're quick, but speed isn't everything!" Josh taunted. Kevin just shook his head, he couldn't believe this guy. He dodged a couple more punches before finding his opening and connecting a powerful right hook to Josh's face, then an uppercut when he stumbled sideways. The doctor fell to the ground in an instant, Kevin following quickly, he straddled his chest, grabbing the front of his scrubs in his left hand, raising his right to punch the doctor again, even as he struggled to buck the detective off.

"Yo, bro, you sure you want to keep this up?" Detective Esposito asked, though to which of the pair, it was unapparent.

"I don't step down from a fight." Josh spat in Ryan's face.

"Oh that does it boy-o!" He ground out, landing several punches directly to the doctor's face, two in the nose, breaking it with a satisfying crunch, and a couple more to the left side of his face. Satisfied with his work, Detective Ryan pushed up off of the doctor, getting to his feet and making his way over to his partner. "Didn't you want to get a couple swings in?" He asked Espo.

"Nah, next time. Lanie doesn't like it when my hands get all torn up." He shrugged as the turned away from the doctor lying on the ground.

"Oh, and don't come back into the hospital today, and if I even _hear_ that you tried to get into the private room they are being moved to, you'll have to worry about more than a broken nose." Ryan said menacingly over his shoulder.

"How am I supposed to fix my fucking nose?" Josh yelled after them, holding his head back and pinching the bridge.

"You're the doctor, figure it out yourself." Esposito challenged him as they made it back to the door.

"We should probably head back upstairs." Lanie said, checking her watch. "We've been gone for a while."

"What about Kevin and Javier?" Alexis asked, oblivious to what was most-likely occurring in some hidden alleyway nearby, unlike the adults of the group, who all shared a look.

"They'll be back soon, dear don't worry." Martha piped up, standing and picking up her trash as well as Detective Ryan's.

"Okay…" Alexis said, standing and cleaning up as well.

They threw their trash away and made their way back up to the ICU. It was getting close to seven, and if Doctor Parish were being honest with herself, she wanted to make sure Kate was okay, especially after seeing Josh being hauled out like a common criminal. Her imagination was running full throttle. She was half-afraid she was going to find Castle with his breathing tube pulled out and a scalpel in his eye.

When they reached the ICU, they were relieved to find Castle laying there just as before, and Kate dozing softly, her head facing towards him. They approached quietly, Martha and Alexis grabbing either of Rick's hands as they sat down opposite each other in the hard chairs. Jim went to sit by Kate's bedside, hesitating before grabbing her hand as well. He didn't want to wake her, but he needed the comfort of her touch. She didn't stir, just continued sleeping. Lanie took the seat opposite him, leaning back in her chair.

Alexis eventually ended up falling asleep leaning her head onto her father's bed, his hand held in hers under her head. After such an emotionally draining day, no one was surprised. The rest of the group sitting there in silence, reflecting on the day's events. Detectives Esposito and Ryan returned shortly after Alexis' breathing evened out, so they just nodded their greetings, standing off to the side.

_'Jeez, this is more sleep than I've had in weeks! What gives? Did my alarm clock break?' I search my mind for an answer, not quite able to recall the last time I had been awake, not until I feel discomfort in my chest, then it all comes rushing back._

_A shot rang out just as I reached Kate, I hadn't even felt the impact, didn't know I was hit. All I could think about was Kate. Kate! She was hit too! I hope she's okay! I should see! I should wake up! _

_'Come on Rick, focus. Wake up! Wake up!' I chant at myself, it's no use, I'm conscious already, I just can't open my eyes, they feel like they're glued shut. I try to focus on the rest of my body, having felt that pain in my chest before, I start there. As my breath comes and goes, I can feel fabric moving with it, but not my usual soft and silky, it's rough, must be a hospital gown. I'll have to send someone to fetch me real clothes the moment I wake up. I mentally shake my head, trying to focus again. Besides the most-likely hideous hospital gown, I can feel pressure on my right side, a gauzy substance. Ah, probably a bandage covering up my soon-to-be awesome and heroic scar. I was smirking in my head, imagining Beckett smacking the back of my head for even thinking such a thing. There I go thinking about Kate again. I mentally shake myself again, I really need to focus so I can get control of my body. I extend my senses outward, feeling my shoulders shift infinitesimally as I breathe, then down my arms. I can feel a loose, but powerful grip on my right hand, as well as what I assume is tape holding in some IV tubes. That's going to put a damper on the writing for a few days. I've done it before, but hey, maybe Gina will cut me some slack… On my left hand I can feel the same tape and tubing situation, and something on my index finger, probably a heart monitor, I conclude; but beyond that, I can feel a slight dampness under a soft weight and fingers laying on my forearm. _

_I'm feeling more alert now, so I try to open my eyes again, and instead of pitch-black, I am rewarded with a murky reddish-brown, I'm making progress. I try twitching my fingers, feeling them move just slightly, as if I were pressing a few keys on my keyboard. This seems to get the attention of the person at my left, as the weight against my arm is gone in an instant, replaced by a tightening grip on my hand instead. "Dad…?" I hear, though it sounds as if it is echoing down a long hallway. I try to swim closer to the surface. Why did I focus on my touch sensations rather than my hearing? Probably because touching things is more my style than listening. "Richard?" I hear, it's slightly clearer, but coming from a different source. "Dad come on, you gotta get up." The voice I'm hearing is Alexis, but what echoes after it in my mind is a scene from her favorite animated movie as a child, a movie we had watched together almost daily. In my mind the scene where Simba finds Mufasa after the wildebeest herd passes is playing, sad music and all, 'Dad come on, you gotta get up. Dad, we gotta go home! Help! Somebody! Anybody! … Help.' _

_I can't do that to Alexis. _

_My eyes snap open, the overhead light blinding._

"Dad!" Alexis exclaimed, her hand reaching up to her father's face, pushing his hair back from his forehead. All he could do was stare at her, now aware of the breathing apparatus hooked up to his face. He arched an eyebrow at her after a few moments, and she couldn't help but giggle. "We'll get that out dad, don't worry, we all know you can't stand not being able to talk." She pressed the call button, the doctor appearing from behind the curtain moments later.

"Ah, Mr. Castle is awake I see!" He said happily. "Let's check a couple things here…" He trailed off, beginning his check. "Alright, seems like we should be able to take that tube out, why don't you guys step out for a moment while I get this taken care of?" He suggested, knowing most folk couldn't take the sight. Everyone but Lanie went to wait outside in the hall, Jim closing the curtain between the two beds as he left, just in case Kate woke up.

Just as before with Kate, the doctor calmly talked Rick through the procedure, carefully removing the tube and tossing it in the bio-waste bin.

Taking his first unassisted breath felt fantastic, and then painful when he breathed too deeply. "You'll want to take shallower breaths for a while, the bullet punctured your lung and they had to patch it up. Needless to say, deep breaths are probably not going to feel too great for a while." Rick nodded, unable to find his voice yet. "You'll need to drink a bit of water before you can speak properly again, and your throat will probably hurt for a few days, so you might be better off not talking too much." The doctor smiled, "Any questions?" Rick shook his head no, reaching for the cup of water Lanie had just poured. The doctor left after checking the machines quickly. Rick took a sip out of the cup, feeling the cool water rush down his throat, coating his insides in the most pleasant way.

"You doing okay Writer-boy?" Lanie asked. He nodded, still not sure of his voice. "Good, you scared us for a while there. Who knew your old-man heart couldn't take having a bullet pass through you." He raised an eyebrow at her teasing, expecting it from the boys, but not so much her. She shrugged. "Why don't I go get Martha and Alexis, they've been waiting." He grabbed her hand for a moment to stop her.

"W-where's K-Kate?" He rasped, throat throbbing.

"She's right behind that curtain Lover-boy." She said, motioning to the curtain to his left. "She's resting, but don't worry, you were the first thing she asked for too."

"Really?" He asked, his voice coming back all at once. Ah, the magical healing powers of Love.

"Yeah, and before you ask, she's fine. Better than you, actually." She smirked.

"That's all I can ask for." He murmured.

"Let me go get your family, they've been worried." He nodded, letting her go this time.

**So... He's awake now... I didn't want to leave a cliffhanger, and I kind of did/kind of didn't. Don't worry about it too much though, I'm on track to get the next chapter out by this time tomorrow... If not sooner. :)**

**~Morgen**


	5. Holding Out

**Hey guys, here's chapter five! (I'm usaully not one for long authors notes, but if you could read the one at the bottom, that would be great.)**

Martha and Alexis practically ran back into the ICU, carefully stepping through the curtain surrounding Rick's bed.

"Oh Richard. You gave us quite the scare!" Martha exclaimed, embracing him gently about the shoulders. He didn't respond, just smiled up at his mother as she held his face in her hands and kissed his forehead. "Don't you dare do that again!"

"I make no promises." He said noncommittally. She just shook her head, stepping back and sitting in the chair at his bedside.

"At least have the presence of mind to be wearing a vest next time dad. That was just irresponsible." Alexis teased, coming up on his good side to hug him fiercely.

"I'm sorry Pumpkin, I'll get one of those vests that I can wear under my clothes, maybe it will make me look buff." He played along. She pulled back to look into his eyes, gauging him. He seemed mostly fine to her, teasing as always, but something was off.

"What's with the look dad?" She questioned him quietly.

"It's nothing, I just…" He dropped his voice even lower, "I really want to see Kate." He whispered with a furrowed brow and a little shrug.

"Wow dad, chopped liver." She winked at him, stepping away to check the other side of the curtain. Kate was still dozing, her breathing perfectly even, despite her recent injury. Alexis pulled back the curtain for him, watching his reaction. His eyes immediately sought out Kate's sleeping form, looking for any evidence of injury. The only things he could pick out were the IV's running to her hands and an oxygen tube wound around her ears and under her nose, much like the one he had on his face.

He took a sip of water, his throat feeling a bit dry. Jim looked up from the other side of Kate's bed, taking in the writer, noting how his eyes were full of nothing but love when he looked at his Katie. Rick looked up at the father of woman he loved. Jim nodded his head towards the writer, a silent thank you, he had at least tried to save her, that was worth some points. Rick nodded back, thankful that there didn't appear to be anger in the man's eyes.

The room fell into a comfortable silence, Rick staring off into space, Martha and Alexis watching him, Jim watching Kate as she slept, and Lanie, Javier and Kevin were still out in the hall talking.

"Tell me you beat the crap out of that asshole." Lanie demanded as soon as Martha, Alexis, and Jim had passed through the doors to the ICU.

The detectives looked around, making sure no one was within earshot. "My man Kevin, here was attacked by an irate doctor and had no choice but to retaliate." Espo said with a little smirk towards Lanie.

"He only attacked me after striking out with Javi though. The idiot ran at him with his arms flailing, all Javi had to do was sidestep him and kick him in the ass, guy fell on his face, classic." Ryan chuckled.

"The real beauty was in the dodging and weaving you did though, it was like some weird dance…" Esposito stared off into space for a moment, recalling the scene. "And then that uppercut, and the face clobbering!" His smile nearly split his face in two. "Didn't know if I was going to pull you off him."

"Yeah, I'm proud of myself for stopping, but even more proud that I smashed the crap out of his nose." Kevin said with a grin.

"Well I'm proud of the both of you! That guy was just getting in the way. With him gone, we can push Kate towards Rick, and Rick towards Kate and Boom goes the dynamite! I swear, if they don't get together after this, I might just knock them both out and handcuff them together and lock them in a dark room." Lanie said excitedly.

"I'm sure things will move along just fine now." Esposito said, "She loves him, whether she sees it or not, and he definitely loves her." Kevin nodded his agreement, the three of them falling silent for a few moments.

"Well, we might as well get in there. I need to get home soon, Jenny is probably worried sick." Kevin said with a sad smile.

"Yeah, we should get going soon too." Lanie began, Javier nodding next to her, "But we really should make sure they get moved to their private room before we leave. I don't like leaving them out in the open in such a big space."

"Me either, chica." Esposito said to her, a worried look crossing his face.

"Well, let's get on it then." Kevin said, opening the door and walking into the ICU with them trailing behind him.

Kate blinked her eyes a couple of times, trying to adjust them to the brightness of the overhead lights. Her eyes sought out Castle as soon as they had adjusted. She was surprised to see him propped up on his bed, sipping at a cup of water and smiling as Alexis told him about some random movie her friends had made her watch a couple days before. Kate couldn't keep the smile off her face, glad he was alright. Jim witnessed her waking, but didn't call her on it, just watched her watch Rick, the same look in her eyes as was in the writer's. He smiled, happy to see her happy.

She shifted slightly, stretching her legs gently under the sheets, then pulling her shoulders back and arching her back just slightly, as to not agitate her wounds. She turned her neck from side to side, loosening the muscles tight from her slumber. As she turned her head towards her dad she caught his eye, smiling at him. _He must have been so scared._ Kate thought. She felt guilty for sleeping when she could have been reassuring him that she was alright, talking to him, trying to bring a real smile to his face. He just shook his head at her as he recognized the guilt in her eyes, understanding it instantly. They had a silent conversation, the rest of the group unaware that she had awakened.

Shortly after her return to consciousness, Lanie, Espo, and Ryan made their way into the relative privacy of the curtains.

"Hey Beckett!" Espo called, walking over to her and giving her an unexpected hug. "You grace us with your presence!" He smirked at her, pulling away as Ryan came up behind him. Kevin hadn't know her as long, so he didn't know if he should hug her or not, but decided after an event like that, he had better. He pulled her in for a brief, gentle hug around the shoulders.

"What no 'Hey Castle!'?" Rick said with a fake pout. "I thought at least Ryan would be happy to see me. He does read all of my books after all."

"Castle, it was your own fault you got shot, you just _had_ to be the hero." Esposito teased him. "Don't expect any special treatment, man."

"How is a 'hello' special treatment?" He whined.

"It's special because you usually just get 'Yo.'" Ryan smirked, crossing over to his bed, patting his good shoulder and offering to feed the birds. "Plus, I just read those to make sure you don't write anything nasty about us in them." Castle cheered up instantly, smirking at his friend's white lie.

"Yeah bro, what do you want? Some grand welcome back speech?" Espo winked at him. "Anyway… Yo." He said, giving Castle's arm a little mock-punch.

Everything was right in the world again, until Castle and Beckett realized that one another were awake.

"Hey!" Lanie said, breaking the tension that was starting to build, "How about we get you two moved to that private room, get you guys situated so you're all safe and sound for the night?" She suggested with a smile.

They both nodded, understanding her attempt to postpone their conversation until they were in private.

"Alright, good… I'll just grab the doctor and we'll get you guys on the way, the room is all set up already."

Their respective trips were short and quiet, and most importantly- painless.

They settled into their windowless double occupancy room, Kate in the bed closer to the door. Once they seemed settled, their friends bid them a fond farewell, promising to return in the morning. Jim left soon after that, promising Kate her favorite tomorrow, a strawberry shake, she reminded him not to grab a straw. That left Martha and Alexis. Richard had just asked them to bring in some of his sweats and sleepwear, then remembering that Kate didn't have any herself he motioned Alexis back over and whispered conspiratorially in her ear, "Go out and buy some comfy stuff for Kate before you come in the morning, put it on my card." She smiled at her father's antics, kissing his cheek before standing back up and joining Martha by the door.

"Bye!" Alexis smiled and waved on her way out the door, receiving farewells from the pair in their beds.

"See you two kiddos later!" Martha called, closing the door behind them.

The room was quiet for a few moments, neither of them sure where to start.

"So…" Kate began, knowing a Band-Aid approach to this was probably key. "Thanks for tackling me." She smirked, looking over at him. He smiled in return, nodding.

"My pleasure." He said, lacing his words with innuendo and waggling his eyebrows.

"Oh come on Castle." Beckett exclaimed, "I was going for a heart-to-heart moment there."

"Yeah, your imagery drew such a sweet picture… me wearing full football gear- launching myself at you after hearing 'hike'…" He rolled his eyes.

"Sorry. I just-" She sighed, "Thank you Rick. You saved my life." She said, her voice quivering.

He looked over at her, mad at himself for being a dick in a moment like this. "Hey, I'm serious this time, it _was_ my pleasure. I couldn't have lived with myself if something worse had happened to you, you know that." The sincerity was clear in his voice, she smiled at him.

"Yeah, I do know that, and I don't think I could have lived with _myself_ if you hadn't survived that..." She fought back the tears glistening in her eyes. "As much as I want to call what you did stupid, to hate what you did, it wasn't, and I can't. I know I would have done the same thing a thousand times over for you…" she paused, taking a steadying breath, it was time, "because I know what you did, protecting me, was out of love, and that's why I would do the same in an instant… I love you too, Rick." A tear streaked down her cheek, and he yearned to brush it away, but he was stuck in his bed just as she was stuck in hers.

"You love me?" She nodded slowly. He was surprised to hear the words, he had been hoping for a moment like this for a long time, dreaming about it, but to actually hear her say it, it shocked him. He cleared his throat. "I love you more than anything, I love you so much it hurts!" His eyes began to shimmer, he blinked a few times, reigning in his emotion. "I didn't think this day would ever come." He said solemnly. "Especially after the _conversation_ we had in your apartment the other day, you said we were done, I thought I would never see you again." He cleared his throat again, thick with emotion, and still sore from the breathing tube. "But then… when Captain Montgomery called me and told me what I had to do, I couldn't say no. I had to save you Kate, even if it meant you hating me even more, blaming me for his death." She tried to cut in, but he shook his head, "Let me finish this, please," he requested, she took a calming breath, accepting his plea. "I knew it pained you, I could see it in your eyes, feel it in your movements, but even in that moment Kate, you stopped struggling, placing your hand on my cheek, and everything felt _right._ The world was crashing down, but it didn't matter." He took a deep breath, wincing slightly, "And then… what you said at the funeral, when you said that if you are very lucky, you find someone willing to stand with you, and you looked at me, I knew that despite everything we said and did to each other, we were going to be okay."

"I knew it too." Kate said when he went silent for a few moments. "I knew that despite everything that I had said, everything I had done to you, you had stepped up and saved me, you stood with me, even when I pushed you away. You stood with me that night at the hangar, and you stood with me at the funeral, but you saved me at both too." A teary smile lit her face. "So yeah, thank you Rick, and I love you." He nodded, grinning like a kid with a bag full of candy.

"I love you so much! But, God, this sucks! Every single time I have pictured this, us professing our undying love for each other, I got to kiss you senseless right afterwards." She smirked at his choice of words. He was actually pretty mad, he wanted to kiss her senseless, make fireworks explode behind her eyes. She wanted to do the same to him. "After that kiss we shared the night we went to save Ryan and Esposito from Lockwood, it's practically all I can think about!"

"You think about that a lot too?" She smiled softly at him, trying to think of a way to appease them both at least a little. "Hey, scoot over as far as you can." She said, doing the same so they were on the edges of their best closest to each other. She reached out her right hand as far as she could, and he reciprocated with his left. Their fingertips touched lightly, bringing a smile to each of their faces, staring into each other's eyes. They held their hands like that for a few minutes before their arms grew tired and they withdrew them regretfully.

Rick propped himself up on his left side slightly, taking the pressure off of his damaged right, she mirrored him. They just stared at each other for a while more, seeing one another in a new light. Just then what she had said clicked in his head. "So… you think about that kiss a lot, huh?" He asked, genuinely curious, they never talked about it and he wanted to know what she thought.

"Yeah, I can't say a day has gone by since that I haven't." She admitted, a rueful smile on her face. "Sometimes when I'm alone in the shower… or bed… or the break room at the precinct…" She looked at him, watching him writhe, realizing too late that tormenting him was only going to make her own situation worse.

"Oh, Detective Beckett, do tell what you liked to do when you thought about me in the shower… or bed… or the break room…" His eyes smoldered, a blue flame igniting her insides. She fought the shiver that ran down her spine at the tone of his voice, it was pure unstopped sex. He had let all pretenses drop now that they were alone and on the same page.

"Uh." Kate drew a blank. She wasn't prepared for this, despite all of their back and forth teasing in the past. The pretense of playing no longer there, she knew that if it went on too long, both of them would be suffering. "Oh… you know, this and that." She looked away. He just chuckled.

"Hey, you hear about that movie that came out a couple months ago? Might be available On Demand…? What do you think?" He said, smiling to himself, knowing she would appreciate the reprieve this time, next time she might not be so lucky.

"Which movie, Castle…? That was kind of vague." She rolled her eyes at him, silently thanking him for understanding her discomfort.

"Oh you know… the one with the two people solving crimes, being badass." He teased, knowing his explanation was severely lacking.

"Alright, you find it, and we'll see if you get to pick a movie ever again." She smirked, settling in as he turned on the TV on the opposite wall, scrolling through the On Demand movies until he found the one he had been searching for.

"Be prepared to be amazed." He said, looking at her as he pressed play.

**I thought that was a decent place to end it...**

**Anyway, some of you have been ****_kind_**** enough to correct me on the internal workings of hospitals... I'm sorry, thanks for the input, but seriously, this is a work of fiction, and if it bothers you... that's too bad, because I wrote it the way I wrote it for a reason. I don't think changing 'ICU' to 'Recovery Room' is going to change the interpretation of the story. Plus, not all hospitals are the same! I know how HIPPA works, but does that mean that everyone else needs to/cares to? No. **

**So, I digress. If you have a problem with my writing itself, that's one thing... but sending me a lengthy message, though appreciated in many cases, is not quite so appreciated when it tells me that I am writing this wrong about a hospital. This is a CASTLE love story, not ER or Grey's Anatomy or whatever, I can DO drama and action, and I will... but inner-workings of a hospital are just not important to the progression of the story.**

**Thanks for reading and sorry for the rant!**

**~Morgen**


	6. Let It Out

**AN- Oh hey guys... I'm just gonna leave this here...**

"Wow Castle, I'm actually kind of amazed." Detective Beckett said, turning to him with a slight smirk. "I'm surprised, I never would have thought to pick that movie. I'm not usually too into comedies, but that was pretty great."

He just smiled at her, "I think you'll find with me, that the surprises are a constant."

"Yeah?" She replied, her smirk growing, "I think _you_ might be surprised by _me_ every once in a while."

"Oh, without a doubt, Detective, without a doubt." He looked toward the ceiling, avoiding eye contact temporarily. "You are ever a mystery, a constant surprise."

She blushed slightly, remembering his words from the hotel in California, _You were a mystery I was never gonna solve. _"Oh Castle, you have such a way with words… Sometimes the things you say, the things you write, they just make me feel – I don't know, lighter?" The inflection in her voice made it seem like she didn't quite know how to describe the feeling, but she soldiered on, "Like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, if even just for a short while."

"I take that compliment in much higher regard than any review I could possibly get from a critic, no matter the publication." He said solemnly, fighting back the unmanly tears in his eyes as he continued to look anywhere but at her.

"See? That, right there, Rick." She whispered, waiting until he made eye contact to continue, "The fact that you would rather hear _me_ say something than anyone else, even if it meant a double in sales… _that_ melts my heart."

He looked at her, letting her words wash over him. He made her heart melt, just as she made him turn into a puddle of goo. "Kate, what you say, what you think, what you feel - it isn't just 'something' to me, it's _everything_." He tried for eye contact now, but it was her turn to look down and blush.

"You really need to stop saying such beautifully sappy things, especially when I am too drugged up to stop myself from responding." She shook her head at herself, she really couldn't stop the flow of words from her mouth.

"I'm pretty drugged up too, if you'll recall." He joked, "and what can I say? I'm inspired by your presence."

She didn't take the out. "Even before that, Rick- before we met." She swallowed, remembering a time when she could hardly hold herself together, a time when his words had sewn up her aching heart and put her mind at ease, if only while she was away in his imaginary world, the one where the killers were brought to justice. "You know I've read every book you've ever published, you used to tease me about it."

He smiled, remembering the first time they had worked together. "I maintain that you are not a crazed fan," he teased gently.

"Yeah, well… maybe not anymore." She admitted quietly.

"What was that?" He could have sworn she said 'anymore'.

"I said that I'm not a crazed fan anymore." She said, more into her pillow than to him.

"I find it hard to believe you could have ever been crazed. You, Beckett, you are the embodiment of control, the complete opposite of crazed." He looked over at her again, noticing her head buried slightly in her pillow, a pink tinge to the cheek he could see.

"Stop. Seriously. This is hard enough as it is, admitting this to you…" She lifted her head slightly, making eye contact with him by mistake. "God. Castle, I've read them all. I've read them all again. And again. And again." She let out a breath, "They have always been an escape. A place I can go to just get away, away from the real world, away from my life, my situation."

"Don't be embarrassed by that." He looked over at her, catching her eye before continuing, "Why do you think I wrote them Kate?" He meant it to be rhetorical, his answer the same as hers.

"Well, I hate to admit it, but I'm fairly sure you write for the fame and money it brings you Castle." She went for joking, but when she met his eyes, her heart sank. His eyes were filled with hurt.

"The money, the fame?" He questioned, the hurt shining through his normally jovial voice. Perhaps it would be better to have this conversation when they weren't both stuck in hospital beds, various drugs running through their systems.

"Castle, you can't tell me that isn't why you write! I've seen you at your launch parties, happy as a clam, girl on either arm, signing chests."

"I guess I owe my mother more than I thought then, obviously my acting skills are better than I could have ever dreamed."

"Acting Castle?" She intoned incredulously.

"Maybe not all of it," he admitted, "but once I was out of sight, I would be at the bar, drowning myself in any alcohol I could get my hands on. I was probably a borderline alcoholic, if it weren't for Alexis, I probably would have been drunk all of the time." He sighed, seeming lost in his thoughts, memories, "After I was halfway gone, there was no need to act, I was just that happy-go-lucky asshole that 'got all the girls'." He said, making air quotes. "I didn't _get_ all the girls, Kate, I may have gone out with a fair number of them, but most of them were airheads that would hardly have known what to do with a book if I handed them one." He sighed again, "I can count on one hand the number of serious relationships I have had in the past, and two of the three were before I became rich and famous, as I am now, the third being Gina. It doesn't hold the appeal that you might think."

He sounded truly offended, she needed to put a stop to this. "Rick…"

"No, really- hear me out." He said as she quieted. "I think I've maintained that playboy role pretty well, Paula seems happy about it, 'ratings are up in the 25-45 female demographic' she might say, but I don't care. I haven't been on more than ten or fifteen dates in the last few years, since I met you. Sure, I tried to get back together with Gina, but we both knew that wouldn't work out, we got divorced for a reason, and we both know why I did that in the first place…" he sighed, "I stopped signing chests, stopped taking phone numbers from women that I knew I wouldn't call, stopped all of that because I knew that the charade could be over - if I tried hard enough. I don't know when it was, Kate, but I know that somewhere along the line, I fell in love with you and knew that I could be done with it. I knew I could be done being that playboy- and maybe this is just wishful thinking, but if people saw that art was imitating life, or vice-versa, maybe that would keep the ratings up – Not that I care about them anyway, but at least that way Paula would stay off my back." He was rambling, and he knew it. He didn't want to just leave the conversation hanging with 'I fell in love with you', so he kept barreling on, hoping the rest of what he said made sense outside of his own head.

Her eyes locked with his then, neither could look away. "I'm sorry, Castle, I _know _that you are a good man, a good father to Alexis, a good son, I just can't seem to reconcile the man I've come to know and love from the playboy image that I've seen for years. Give me time Castle- please, give me time. You must know that it doesn't really _bother_ me anymore, I just can't seem to think past it sometimes." She pleaded with him, begging with her eyes along with her words.

"Time is just one of the many things I am willing to give you, Kate." He gave her a lame half-smile, "as long as you take the love, devotion, and ever-constant proof that I am _not_ a playboy that I give you daily, I can give you time for it to sink in."

She rolled her eyes, "I think I can manage to accept those terms." A small smile began to form on her lips again, "as long as you can take all of my stubbornness, sarcasm, and ever-constant proof that I am _not_ going to let you sign my chest." She tried to set a teasing mood, and it seemed to work.

"Oh come on, you know you want me to." He teased back, "but in all seriousness Kate, whatever you need, whatever you want, name it- and it is yours."

"Well, I would really, _really_ like to…" she trailed off, baiting him.

"What?" he asked with bated breath.

"… get some sleep, Castle, I'm exhausted, I'm surprised I even made it through that movie, let alone this conversation." She explained, a yawn stretching its way across her face, which made him yawn in return.

"Whatever you want Kate, your wish is my command." He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to think of something else to say, "this may sound cheesy, or dorky or something, but- would you like me to tell you a bedtime story?" he sounded extremely hesitant, even to his own ears.

"You know Rick? I think I might like that." She smiled at him as she settled more fully into her hospital bed.

"Alright, well- let's see…" he began, his eyes slipping closed as he got lost in the world behind his eyelids, trying to find a suitable tale for the woman in the bed beside him. "Years and years ago, there was a young woman, excited as ever, perhaps more-so than she had been in quite some time; she had just gotten off of a long day at work, but there was one thing and one thing only on her mind. She hurriedly grabbed a cup of coffee to go from a local café, and hopped in line, at the very end." He looked over at her from the corner of his eye, and noted she had her eyes closed, but she didn't appear to be asleep yet, so he continued, "She waited and waited in line, it was hours before she got to the front, but soon enough she could see him, the smiles he was flashing at each person that handed him their book for him to sign. He gave each person a smile, tried to meet their eyes, but she could see he was quite obviously getting tired. She hoped he wouldn't quit before she got to the front, she really wanted to get her copy of _In A Hail Of Bullets_ signed." He peeked over at her again, her eyes were still closed, her breathing evening out, he wasn't sure if she was still awake, but it seemed pretty clear that she wasn't, since she wasn't reacting to his telling of the tale of when they _truly _first met. "He stayed, of course, he never wanted to disappoint his fans, they meant too much to him. She was at the very end of the line, his last signature for the day. As she handed him her book he smiled down at the book and chuckled softly, '_In A Hail Of Bullets?' _he asked her, chuckling again, 'please tell me you've read some of my newer works, I like to think I get better with age, like a fine wine…' he looked up at her, she smiled at him, this breathtaking smile that he wasn't quite prepared for. He had trailed off, leaving her the opportunity to give him her name. 'Oh, um- Kate, you can make it out to Kate.' She fumbled through her well-rehearsed introduction." He glanced her way, fairly certain she was feigning sleep, as her breathing wasn't quite as even as it had been a few moments ago. "'Well, _Kate,_' he dropped his voice to a whisper as he signed it, 'I won't begrudge you a signature in this one…' he reached for a copy of his newest Storm novel, 'but please… take this, on the house.' He signed that one too, sliding it sneakily across the table underneath the other novel. 'Oh, wow! Thanks!' She looked like she was about to burst into what he hoped were happy tears, and the fact that he could do that for anyone made him smile just a little bit larger in response. 'Well, _Kate_, I don't know about you, but I've got big plans for the evening!' Just then a small girl with fiery hair attacked him from behind, jumping on his back, 'You're free!' she proclaimed, hugging him around the neck, she couldn't have been more than six or seven years old. 'That I am Pumpkin!' He kissed her forehead, 'Kate-Alexis, Alexis-Kate' He said in way of introduction, motioning between the two. The young woman waved briefly at the girl, and received a toothy grin in response. 'Well, we better be off, what is it today, Pumpkin, laser-tag or fencing?' The girl giggled, 'you know you have to write dad!' He mock gasped, 'Nuh-uh! I did that last night! Tonight we get to play!' He winked at the young woman before him, 'It was nice to meet you Kate.' He smiled at her, earning him another of those earth-shattering smiles in response. 'It was incredible to meet you as well Mister Castle!' she proclaimed, warming his heart. With that they parted, him giving his daughter a piggy-back ride to the town car that was waiting at the curb, and her to the squad car down the street." He checked to see if she was sleeping again, it appeared she was now, her breathing all evened out, but he wanted to finish the story now that he had started it. "Once they returned home, Richard Castle and his daughter Alexis played laser-tag until her bedtime. Being the adept storyteller that he was, he told her a bedtime for the ages, the continuing story of Derrick Storm and newly, Clara Strike, a character that he had thought up just that day. Later, once Alexis had succumb to the realm of dreams, the author sat down to capture this new character, new story on his laptop. The words flowed from him, he was completely unable to stop the flow, and it wasn't until the very wee hours of the morning that he finally deemed that section to be complete. Derrick had his love interest, and Rick had a new best-seller in the works, he was sure his publisher would be pleased that he had started so soon after the release of his last book." He smiled at the memories, peeking one last time at the sleeping form of the woman of his dreams before slipping into them.

**AN- Alright, in all seriousness, I wanted to let you guys know that I've been really busy with my college classes, and... beyond that, every single time I sit down to write, I cannot get a single freaking word out. (Even for some of my college papers! :/) Anyway... this is here now, and I'll try to write more now that my writer's block seems to have abated temporarily. **

**If you want to torment me about my lack of updates, follow me on Twitter: msmorg **

**~Morgen**


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